Gloomy Days Bring on Gloomy Thoughts

Hello Internet. I am usually a fan of the rainy and gloomy days, the cold, and the staying under blankets all day but not today. No today it is different. As my friend Vienna said: "Gloomy days bring on gloomy thoughts." As much as I am an optimist and try to be happy everyday, sometimes it just hits me; all the thoughts that I try to avoid until late at night where I can mourn on my lonesome and think of why the world is so cruel. Today however it has hit me during the day so why not write about it. 

 One thing I have struggled with my entire life is talking to people, being social, and making friends. Ironically my job today is that exact thing, motivating people to lose weight and never giving up. Maybe this explains why I have no people in my classes and am basically not bring my boss money. I find it extremely hard ot open up to people, especially these people, because some of these ladies are mean mean people. They judge, they stab, and they take advantage. Exactly what I am afraid of. That is the reason I don't open up to people. Whys should I trust them with the person I am if there just going to rip it apart and revert me to that weak, unstable, unconfident person I was. No thanks. I'll continue to be the girl who gives you the tough songs and makes you sore you can't move the next day without making a sound. I wish I could not be bothered by this like I was before but seriously, some people just take it over the top. If looks could kill. I am happy however that I do have this job because for one, I get free exercise everyday,  second, this gives me a chance everyday to break this fear of people and being unsocial. Everyday an opportunity, everyday a new chance. 

One aspect people don't know about me is that I did not have friends until third grade. From preschool until second grade I did not have friends. I played by myself at recess, did all the work during group projects, and basically just stuck to myself. Why? It's not that I was antisocial its just that I didn't know what friends were or how to make them. Honestly I didn't realize this until later in my life. College is so lonely because of this. My classes don't match up to any of my friends who actually go there so I try to make friends with the people in my classes but its like they don't have any interest in friends. Maybe its just me. Maybe I just give off too much information or too less. I need to trust people. Trust that these people are good and actually want to be a friend. Because trust issues aren't a choice anymore. 

On the same topic of friends, for some strange and idiotic reason I tend to push the friends I already have, the one that I managed to make over the years, away. I hate this fact so much yet I have no idea when I'm doing it. I do deeply care for my friends and am so thankful for all they've done for me. They don't deserve this. They are, as my best friend since third grade says, good souls, and deserve to be treated right. Sometimes I get so jumbled in my own world of fears, self afflicted loneliness, and self caused problems that I just can't think straight about anything. I need to continue to create myself, find myself, and love myself so that the world may become upright and standing again. Without friends, the world is pretty damn dull. 

So here I am Internet. I am giving you a wide open view to my honest to jeebus self. Attack me, judge me, hate me. I need to get over this fear of "I don't think there going to like me" and "there going to hurt me" because these things are only true if I let them be. Time for change. Time for thoughts. Time for something new. 

-Natalie

Where is Christmas?

Hello Internet, its me, again. I haven't written here in a long while. College takes all my time away and work makes me to tired to function sometimes. (Literally sometimes I get stuck half way down to sitting down because I'm so sore) Since I tend to share my opinions here and my life experiences, generally during holidays because I'm usually in my room contemplating escape through my window to avoid my family or siting with my family awkwardly trying to avoid there sight and prying questions about my life, I have time to think. This time I thought about Christmas and everything that comes attached to it. 

For those who don't know, or I just haven't mentioned it on here, Christmas in my favorite holiday. Hands down it is my favorite holiday because, even though I don't particularly like my family, we at least have to be nice to each other for a day and pretend we care. It's actually really sweet honestly because I kinda do believe it. This year however I was proven drastically wrong. My family was nowhere to be found this Christmas, not a call or a mention. My grandpa is in Mexico enjoying himself in his hometown and contemplating marrying this woman who he met online, yeah I know modern age dating huh, so of course he couldn't come home, That would be incredibly selfish no matter how much I love my grandpa. My other extended family though had no excuse. They at least call to mention last minute that "Oh hey! I meant to call you! Yeah were leaving to the middle of nowhere to be with the tumbleweeds and a thousand kids! Merry Christmas!" Rude rude family I've got. 

But besides the family missing, Christmas for me was still a bummer to me. This year it just felt empty. No spirit, not joy, just stress stress stress. My mom seemed more interested in buying and finishing all the presents for people than actually taking time to buy the presents and actually thinking of the people. Okay, let me explain here. I know maybe some of you can agree and understand this method of buying gifts but for me it is completely different. When I buy gifts I think of the person I'm buying it for. I buy the present specifically for them knowing that they'll enjoy it. It makes me extremely happy when they actually do enjoy it because that means someone this Christmas actually got something they liked for Christmas not just stinky socks or something they'll never actually use from a deranged family member. I don't really care about receiving presents honestly. I prefer giving presents instead because this happiness the person gets while opening the present is enough gift for me. Nothing material could ever give me that feeling of accomplishment. That is why this Christmas kinda sucked for me. My siblings were not grateful for the presents they received and didn't really deserve them either. Its sad how spoiled they are and un-thankful. I didn't receive any presents from my parents but I'm not complaining. 

This Christmas could have been better but I believe things happen for a reason. Maybe this Christmas showed me the life I could have in the future or taught me exactly what to avoid. Either way this was a learning experience that thought me more about my family, myself, and the character of people. So for those reading this today, Merry Christmas. Be thankful for what you have, your family, and what you recieve. It's important to keep the spirit alive or else in a few years Christmas is going to be taken over the department stores and solely about presents. 

Sincerely, 

Natalie

Why Does College Make You Stress Out About Everything?

Dear Future Natalie,

Since this has happened multiple times in your life time I think it's finally time to write down as a reminder to stop stressing out. About everything. I mean it. Shut up and just breath. You have the irrational fear of everything and can not begin to contemplate how to live a life without books because books are the very answer on how to keep yourself leveled as you so have figured out today. Stop trying to be like other people. It is okay to analyze them and identify how they think but it is not okay, I repeat, not okay, one more time, NOT okay to try to become like them. For a while you thought you can become a mixture of all the people you saw. You were horribly wrong. It is not good to become like someone else because you are already someone. 

Today while riding the bus you realized a couple things. First, that reading books calms you the heck down. Reading, imagining, becoming one with the books helps you keep in tack with you. It is part of you and you should embrace it. You must read a new book, at least one at the very least, every two weeks, and that's a stretch and you know it. 

Second thing you figured out, you are incredibly plain. You are, as much as you want to fight it, normal. You are ordinary, you are a human being, you are a goodie to-shoes at heart. You freak out when someone breaks the rules, or when your late. You are extremely trusting and believe that there is good in everyone even if they seem like or act completely rude and stupid to you, But you need to embrace this as well. Looking at the world today, everyone seems to be messing up their lives. They want to be normal, They strive for it. You already have it. You have a good life. Embrace that. You did stray from this path a little bit in high school because you were young, naive, and very much an idiot and wanted something more than just your normal plain own life. You idiot. But if it wasn't for this you wouldn't have met Ben. 

Which brings me to my third and final point: that is one reason you love him too. You are fairly good at reading people. Judge what they will do next, what they will say, how they will react. But that in no way prepared you for Ben. He is crazy, has no pattern, and can be complete chaos. But it works. That is why it works, You are plainly normal but he is the exact opposite, everything but normal. He gives you surprises, makes you try new things, leads you to new experiences. What you need in your normal life. So if you come back in the future to read this, let me remind you why you fell in love with him; he makes you feel whole. 

So then here I come to answer your question: why does college make you stress out about everything? Simple: your alone. No friends, no Ben, and intelligent but wacky professors who somehow manage to contradict each other. More deadlines, having to write papers that have nothing to do with the subject of the class and prove absolutely nothing, and just your normal busy life. So I am here to remind you. Shut up. Take a deep breath like Eldridge showed you. And relax. Everything will be okay. You know that. Be brave. Keep going.Because if life was easy is that a life at all?

-Natalie

I Sodemly Swear That I'm Up To No Good But This Is The Truth and Nothing But The Truth

I suppose that I'm going to have a little rant here but I think it's necessary because it's something that I have been starting to realize fora while. To start off, I am not complaining about my life at all. I love my life and am grateful of all of the opportunities I have gotten. However I have come to realize what I want my life to be like when I'm older and definitely wish  could start it now. I don't know who reads my blog or if anyone reads it at all but I've decided to post this on the internet because why not. With that in mind, let me begin.

My life is swell. I have a job that I extremely enjoy because I gain out of it and don't have to pay, I help and motivate people to reach their goals, my coworkers are amazing women, and my boss isn't really my boss but my friend who guides me and makes sure I'm okay at this new job. I go to a university, am not in debt, and is finding that it's not as hard as the high school make it out to be. My intermediate family is well, under control, and support me with every choice I make. My other family, my friends, are more than I can ask for. Those few are some of the people I cherish because if you find one friend in your life time, your lucky. If you have many, your blessed. I have a wonderful boyfriend of almost 3 years who by others is seen as goofy and obnoxious but by me is seen like a perfect guy designed just for me.

However this my sound great, this lifestyle wouldn't be the one I would choose for myself. Yes I do love and am extremely thankful for everything I have but I would defiantly make some changes in my life. With the good also comes the bad. For example, my family is large, 6 members. Going to the super market is a trip we make at least twice a week. We don't always buy unhealthy food, but we don;t always buy healthy food either. When I hopefully start my life I want to buy only healthy food. It's a choice I have made a long time ago and still want it today. Since my job is exercising, unhealthy food and junk food make me feel worse than it did before. If I eat a bag of chips, I literally won't eat a thing for the next day. I have always like healthy food and am determined to make that part of my life style.

Another change I would make is I want to move away from this city. I have lived, never moved out, and have been born in this city. I need change. There is nothing wrong with this city but it's just a choice I want to make. My father choose to start his life in the US in a safe city but I think it's time to leave it for some time and start fresh. New city, new town, new house, new me. Preferably somewhere where it snows because I have come to realize that snow is something I wouldn't mind to deal with for a few years.

Lastly and most important of the changes I want to make in my life, is Ben. No, I'm not going to beak up with him, it's actually the opposite. I want him in my life permanently. It's been proven, by many grumpy and extensive arguments, that we do better when we're together. Yes some people say we're young and don't know a thing about relationships, and I agree to some point, but what I do know is that I feel better when he's around. Some thing people don;t know about me is that I have some anxiety. I stress out over every little thing and freak out if I'm late to anything no matter how insignificant it is. The only difference between other people with anxiety and with me is that I don't let it control my life. I refuse to give up my life to it and the only way to do that is to control it.  Simple. Well, not so much at times but that's where Ben comes in. I don't mean to go into a dramatic and emotional story but let me make it short: when I met Ben, I was in a terrible place. I wouldn't want to go out, talking to friends and being afraid to say something wrong was terrifying, and trying something new was out of the questions with numerous other things that I will not say here because even f no one reads this blog, there are somethings I don't want people to know about me. Bottom line is that Ben, a guy who barely knew me, made me smile for the first time in months and got me to open up to him in a week. After almost three years together he's proven enough to me he does love me and intends to stay with me for a very long time, just as I told him before we started dating. Yeah, he may be a goof ball and not seem like he takes things seriously but he's proven differently to me. My father however thinks otherwise.

My father refuses to know about any guy in my life because he doesn't want there to be one. My mother, after an embarrassing confession, knew about Ben the second week we were together. Ben's whole family knows and has been very accepting of me because I am his first girlfriend as well as he is my first boyfriend. Going back to my father, I know he only wishes the best for me and has worked hard to provide to my family and me. It's not that he doesn't trust me enough to have a boyfriend its that he thinks that I'm not mature enough to know how to and balance my school and boyfriend. To counter this idea, I have been with Ben since about the half way point in my sophomore year of high school and have kept up to be a almost straight A student. I say almost because of my math grades are something I have always been complete crap at. But I can't tell him this because he will get mad at the fact that I didn't tell him I had a boyfriend. In the end I am afraid that he is going to allow me to have a boyfriend, any other guy besides Ben, which completely defies the point. The killer part is that he already knows. He knows I like Ben and that were together because Ben asked him if he could date me and I asked for permission. Those are indicators that light up red and spell danger is capital letters.

The change I want to make is that I am going to tell my dad that I am dating Ben and that as long as I want him in my life, he will be. My grandpa hated my dad, and was SO much worse than my dad in hating guys, but look where that got them: 4 kids and a whole lot of money. If he trusts me, he'll let me do it, if not well I don't think he's going to want to talk to me for a couple of months.

It feels good to let these things out. Although as I see now it was mostly about Ben, it does feel nice to vent even if it's on the internet. Its easier to do so here than to real people because talking to people is something I'm still working on.

Thank you for reading my little sets of rants and I hope you don't judge me too harshly.

I hope you have a great day. 

Natalie  

I'm Aliiiiiive

Hello to all. Yeah I'm back finally. I haven't blogged a lot because I've been trying to get the feel of my new life and schedule. Between college, work, homework, mariachi, and helping the band because the director is clueless, its been a hassle. But noe I'm back, more relaxed, less jumpy and ready to write. I've had so many ideas for a blog post but no time to write it. Its been hard to find time for everything. For example: I've had Percy Jackson's last series book on my desk for 2 WEEKS AND HAVEN'T TOUCHED IT BECAUSE OF HOMEWORK. Jeez the struggle is real. I know if I read the book I won't want to do anything else until I finish it tears and all. I'm kinda.scared honestly too. The fangirl in me will cry too much i know it. Funny thing thay books make me cry not movies. Movies aren't as connecting as books I suppose.

You are beautiful. I saw this little message on my second week ofcollege and it kinda made my day. If you were having a shitty day or nervous of a presentation, a little something like that could defenatly make someone smile. Since i found this in the girls bathroom it could also make a person change their mind. 5 out of 15 of adult woman have symptoms of Bulimia. You never know if one of those 5 may walk into that stall.

Today my history teacher, which is off his rocker completely, congratulated me in being one of the two girls who got A's on his quiz. Honestly his class is easier than my high school AP US History. Ms. Quezada definitely kicked our asses in that class presuring us and preparing us for college. I think she succeed.

Taking the bus kinda sucks and kinda is cool. It sucks because i have to pay but rules because I only pay for what one tank of gas would cost me. So I mean I'll probably do a whole other post on the bus and it's many inhabitants. I need my licence already.

So that is me for now. Oh! I got a new phone that is connected to a network and everything and it is AMAZING. I love it so much. It makes life so much easier. Like blogging muaha. Anyways, I hope you all have a great day and complement someone today. Trust me, it will make their day.
¤ Natalie

x

Mysterious Mondays: 9/15/14

Good hello guys. I have come today to, as it's become a habit lately, to geek out. When my mother convinced my father to pay Netflix she didn't know what she was creating. Now my siblings and I live with our eyes glued on the TV. My mom has seriously just started to realize that when I become interested in something I become obsessed. *cough* anime, book series, Tumblr, TV shows, movies, anything illuminated by the sun *cough* This time it's a fairly old show that broadcast in 2005. 

I have been completely hooked on Supernatural. 

Supernatural aired September 13, 2005 on The WB, so I'm literally 10 years late on realizing how amazing this show is. The show is basically about two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, who hunt demons, monsters, ghosts, and any other supernatural beings in the world. (duh) I had originally heard about this show when it actually aired but I was 9 then so I had better things to do like practice my flute and go make myself look like a potato while playing house in my back yard. 

I always had an interest in the show as I got older but I never willed myself to watch it. Like I said, I had better things to do. Now however, the first summer where I literally had almost nothing to do, I had enough time and boredom to watch. Best decision ever. 

I'm only on Season 3 so it's been really difficult not to go on Tumblr and Google to look up pictures because there are spoilers EVERYWHERE. Especially now that Season 9 is coming out. Here I am on Season 3. I'm actually pretty excited that I need 6 more seasons because that means I'm not going to be left heartbroken mid season. 

I really enjoy this show because how how much of a bond Sam and Dean have. Both brothers are willing to trade in anything, including their soul, and die for one another because that is how much they love each other. I really like this factor of the show because the brothers are faced daily with evil and always have that chance of death hanging over their head. I mean yeah it's a life of adventure but at what risk? The boys that this bond because of their unnatural upbringing. I mean, if your mother was killed by a demon and you father had dedicated his life to hunting the demon who killed his wife, you'd probably bond to the only other person who's going through the same thing too. 

Another aspect that I really enjoy about the show is that all the demons and monsters they face are actually true in some culture or folklore. The Brothers Grimm stories, Genies, Werewolves, Vampires, Ghosts, Spirits, you name it. It's really interesting how the show brings light and represents these monsters. I mean for example, lets take the very hated and misjudged Twilight. Vampires in Twilight are sparkly, super fast and strong. Vampires in Supernatural usually are party animals that drink liquor and kidnap people, for you know, lunch. Werewolves in Twilight change when they get angry or vampires are around. Werewolves in Supernatural change when it's the full moon and go insane. Different representation, same lore. 

I will now continue to geek out until I finish Supernatural. Because I mean, I don't start school next week or anything. Psssh no. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a nice day. 

-Natalie xx 

What Natalie Likes To Do On Her Free Time

Hello friends and welcome to another visit to my blog. Today I would Like to share with you guys what I enjoy doing on my free time. Or in other words, everyday of summer. 

First off, I wake up at around 8 AM so I check my messages to see if Ben has freaked out about something at night. He doesn't always but lately I've been sleeping like a rock so checking is mandatory. Can't leave my partner in crime alone when he needs me now can't I? That is my first pass time since after I check my messages I go on Instagram and occasionally Twitter to see what the new hehaw is today on the interwebs. YouTube is a must though. I spend a lot of time on YoutTube looking a daily vloggers because they can go out and explore the world and I can't. What a sad life. 

My second pastime is one much more connected to my childhood: Pokemon. I grab my Nintendo DS, pick a comfy spot, and don't move for hours. Hey, I wanna be the very best like no ones ever done. It takes time, lots of it. Especially when you can't catch a legendary Pokemon that keeps running away! *mumble* stupid Ladias *mumble*

My third pastime activity is exercising. I usually (always) go to the Zumba studio by my house since I get all the exercise I need there, it's cheap, and entertaining. When I'm feeling down the teacher is always a pick me up because she's completely insane. I love it. We get wild and crazy the kind we shouldn't do in public and hope our father's never see. Just kidding but if shaking your butt will make your dad blush, let's hope he doesn't see.

My next pastime is movies. Movies for daaaaays. Movies are what we wish would happen in our lives to make them more adventurous but never happen. I've still been pretty obsessed with the Twilight Staga because I feel for Jacob Black man. Poor lad and his multiple rejections. For some reason I enjoy the books where there's always a mad rejected even though he's been there all along for the heroine. Little bitches. There Obviously the right choice duuuuhh. *excuse the fangirl moment there* I've recently watched X-Man: First Class, whic is the first X-Man movies I've ever watched, and loved it. I love the actors and the basses of it since I kinda have an X-Man background from watching the cartoon show every time it was on during my childhood. (Ahh the 90's) I didn't like X-Man the Last Stand though. It didn't have the same froress as First Class. It was kinda cliche really. It didn't convince me. Oops. 

And lastly the last pastime, reading. Duh. Books are what we wished our life was. Period. How cool would it be to live in  world of magic and fantasy? Freaken epic that's what. It kinda bugs me (a lot) that now since directors don't have any original ideas of their own they start creating books into movies and then a whole freaken fan bases appears out of no where shipping all the romances for the actors not the character. Um NO. That is not acceptable. They are completely missing the whole point of the the character's personality and focusing on the actor's "hotness." No bitches, no. Read the book before the movie. It is always better. ALWAYS. (HP reference <3)

And that has been my pastime activities also known as my summer. As you can see, I don't go out much. Like at all. Occasional shopping here and there but yeah I live indoors. Whoop di do.  

Thank you for reading and I hope you have a nice day! 

Natalie

Mysterious Mondays 8/25/14

What's up guys? I was browsing the interwebs and found this fantastic singer on YouTube. Please take a listen and go like her video because HOT DAMN DAT VOICE. Honestly this is making me want to go grab my acoustic and sing too. I probably should but you know parents, once you show an interest in something they start freaking out and bragging about it to their friends and then make you do something your not comfortable with. Wait no? Just me? Awesome. 

Being in a mariachi helped me learn guitar but no matter how hard I try I can not bar the strings. Its so frustrating because I will literally try until I can't feel my fingers. Either my fingers are too weak or my fingers are to weak. Damn fingers. You will not get the best of me. I will not give up.

I honestly think I'm not that bad of a singer I just don't like rejection. Yeah I know, weakling right? I don't even get stage fright it's just the comments people make that make me freak out, good or bad. It's like "Oh crap they were actually paying attention??" I sometimes believe I am invisible. I think I'm missing a marble from the jar in my head. It must be invisible. 

I'm going to go fight with my guitar guys. Thank you for reading and I hope you have a wonderful day!

Natalie

Enjoy Every Moment of Life

It's so surreal how we take everything for granted. You can not say individually that you don't because everyone does. Yesterday and today my family and I have been watching old home videos from Thanksgiving. Like we're talking years 2005/2006. This is the time when my brother of 9 was 1 year old and I was 10 years old. My family is together on thanksgiving and dancing their asses off in my back yard. We are all crazy young, dancing to old school Mexican music, and of course, happily drunk. What makes this so special is the fact that my family is at my house. See, one of my uncles live up north by San Francisco in a city called Stockton. That is at least 6-7 hours away from where I live. They used to drive every year down to my house to celibate thanksgiving and my uncle's birthday, which is on the same day. My other uncle, who is also my godfather, who lives much closer comes too with his family. What shocked me was that second cousins that we don't talk to at all are also in this particular video we watched and it seems impossible because we have completely no contact at all with them now. 

That was the past. Today, my uncles and my dad, their brothers mind you, have created some family feud that completely destroyed that family we used to be. Worst is that this feud is about money. Money. If the world wasn't economically run then maybe this wouldn't have happened. But I'm not here to blame the world. I here to ravish on the past and to tell myself to enjoy every single moment of my life whether it be waiting in line to going to church. Every moment is precious. Family is worth more than money isn't it? 

Another aspect of my life that has made me think of this was that life is so fragile and can be gone in an instant. Many of my dad's family friends have passed away recently and has made me think about everything in my world and how I would feel if they passed away. In this past week I know of 3 people personally who have pasted away. Three. One of these people is the father of one of my past dancer friends who had cancer. Her little girl, who grew up with no father, was extremely attached to him and now doesn't even comprehend that he's gone. All she knows is that she misses him and asks when he's coming back. It makes my heart heavy just to think of this poor little girl. If this were to happen to me i know I wouldn't be l aright. I mourn for their family who is suffering right now and hope everything gets better in their life.

For my sake, I am going to list memories of my past that have changed dramatically through out the years:

1. My grandpa house, house I grew up in and lived, is now under new ownership. I knew every nook and cranny in that house and can not even visit it anymore. They even tore down my tree house.

2. My grandparents got divorced. My grandma hardly ever visits now.

3. My other set of grandparents have passed away. I now will never have a chance to see or speak to them ever again. Last time I saw them I was 9. 

4. After seeing my cousins and I dancing and getting along so well, I realized that I can't even contact them because they have blocked me from every social network they have. 

5. I have stopped dancing which I really need to start again soon.
6. My high school band director has accepted another job position and will be resigning. I know I never really talked to him very often but I will miss him tremendously. He is by far one the best teachers I have ever had.  

Enjoy your life and cherish every minute of it. You'll never know when it will be taken away.

-Natalie

Mysterious Mondays: Pixlr Editor 8/11/14

Gaaahh! I am so behind on writing all my blog posts!! That's what studying does for ya. I could seriously write about a million things right now. Here are some: 

1. Band Camp has started

2. My summer class is ending this week

3. One of my old dance friends got engaged and shes only 19!

4. I need to study for my final!

5. I'm cutting and DIYing my old clothes

6. I saw Step Up All In and Planes in the theaters

Yeah that's my list of what I need to write about. I want to make myself write all the posts this week so I'd have one post every day but I have my final! I don't know yet if I'll actually complete it all. Its a possibility. Let's leave it at that. 

So since this is still a Mysterious Monday post, let me rave to the internet about the internet! Whoo Hoo! I have been messing around with Pixlr because I've been trying to make my own personalized background for my blog. It's not that easy people let me tell you. So many numbers involved 0~0 There must only be pictures not numbers! Anyways I was messing around it Pixlr and ended up finding how cool the website actually was. I have always wanted to dye my head and get tattoo since I was a little girl and this website allowed me to see what I would actually look like. 

I really REALLY like it. Hopefully ( slim chance ) my parents like it too. But what parent likes to see their child like this? Not mine that's whose. One day Natt, one day. 

I really recommend Pixlr to anybody who likes to edit pictures because it is completely free unlike Photoshop and other editing programs. 

That's all for today lovely people. I need to study! 

Wait I lied hehe. I had an idea of another little segment I could start on my blog. It's kinda like a dream journal but on the internet (duh) and it would be in a video instead of writing. It could be called "Natalie's Narratives" or something of that sort. What do you guys think? Wanna see me in pj's and crazy 80's morning hair? I'd give you a great laugh I guarantee it. 

-Natalie xoxo

YouTube Beauty Guru: MarizaPie! : Mysterious Mondays 8/4/214

 Hello you lovely people. I have been watching YouTube all summer and discovered this beauty blogger that I really enjoy watching: CutiePieMariza. I came across by her while watching her hilarious gamer boyfriend PewDiePie [Felix]. When you enter YouTube, you never go back. It's a whole social network by itself. And it's full of amazing people if you know where to find them. 

Mariza [Mar-za] gives makeup tips, hair tutorials, and provides examples of extremely cute outfits. She also makes hilarious videos with Felix that range from YouTube tags, different challenges, and gaming videos. She has given me so many ideas for me to try on myself it's a shame I don't have enough money to buy all the clothes and makeup in my ideas. There goes my attempt to be girly!

Check her out and see how much Mariza can brighten your day. This funny quirky girl will make you smile at least a little. I hope >~< 

Natt xxx

Care to click? 

My Childhood Hurts : Mysterious Mondays 7/27/14

I've been rereading a bunch of my old books lately because who doesn't love felling old feels reopen? My summer reading has kinda been put on a hold because I can't exactly find the books I bought to read. You might be asking yourself "How do you lose books Natalie?" Simple: my family. After the whole movement of rooms in my house I basically packed my whole life into boxes. Not fun. Plus it kinda seemed like my parents were taunting me because almost all my friends are packing too but for college. Yeah rub it in my face parents. Grrr. Anyways I started to reread Percy Jackson and the Olympians series along with Riordan's series continuing his Percy Jackson series The Hero's of Olympus. Let me get one thing out there: I LOVE THIS SERIES. Let me tell you of how this whole obsession started.

 I started reading Percy Jackson on accident really. I was in 7th grade and reading at a 12th grade level already. (Go Nerds!) There was a program that my middle school had incorporated to "help" and "encourage" kids read called Accelerated Reading (AR). Really what it came down to was either you read however many points you needed to get or you fail English. Nerdy me had already read the Harry Potter books so passed every single damn test with an A+ because HARRY POTTER. I guess could count as cheating but oops too late now! My teacher held a contest to see who could reach their AR goal the fastest (another scheme to get kids to read) and we could sit on the teacher's chair for a whole day. Naturally being the nerd I was and HARRY POTTER, I won the first day the contest was indicated. SO her plan back fired majorly haha whoops. 

I had run into a dilemma though. (Again nerd moment) I had read all the books on the shelf except for one big one. (Dun dun duuuuuuuuun) It was Percy Jackson of course. I read that book in two days. And that began the obsession. Once I found out there was a squeal a couple weeks later I almost exploded with joy. And now here I am 6 years later still crying over Selena Beauregard's death and so frustrated at Rick's cliffhanger of Percy and Annabeth falling into Tartarus. Literally. 

To think that my childhood is going to end in October absolutely pierces my heart. WHY RIORDAN WHY. I'm not ready for those feels at all. This fandom is close to heart. I almost died when I read City of Heavenly Fire. Another feels that is never gonna go away. Books hurt me more than my real life yo. I don't know how to feel about that. 

Please don't leave Seaweed Brain.

Natalie xo

Mysterious Mondays: Dirty Dancing 7/21/14

This weekend I was horribly bored and had nothing to do so I had a movie night. One of the movies I watched was Dirty Dancing. As I don't always share all of my personal life on the internet I do share parts of it that I don't fully explain. For example those who have read my blog before or actually know me in real life know that I have a boyfriend named Ben. And that's about all my blog people know. What the real situation is that I do have a boyfriend but only my mother knows. My father isn't really accepting of the fact of me dating or that concept at all. He's really over protective to say the least. He suspects that I have one and knows who it is but doesn't day a word. It's kinda ironic because at school were inseparable. Like literally people know me and I don't know them because they know Ben so they talk to me. Granted sometimes my friends are afraid of Ben because he's kinda like my protector always standing by my side and he's not tiny but I don't mind. I love him for that. 

Because my dad doesn't like Ben because he suspects that he's dating me, in the movie Dirty Dancing there is a part where Johnny (Patrick Swayze) tells Baby (Jennifer Gray) that he had a dream where her dad approved of him and threw his arm around his shoulders. This moment touched me because once Ben told me the same thing about my dad. He really wishes my dad would approve of him so we could go out more. Oh the life of an new adult. Poor Johnny. I feel for you bro. 

-Natalie xxx

PS. Sorry for the teenage drama. After all this is the life of an ordinary girl. I found this picture that pretty much sums up the teenage mind.

Musical Mondays

Hello all! Good Morning and welcome to the new segment of my blog: Musical Mondays. Basically I'm show casing some of my favorite music of the week whether it be a band or just songs from my playlist at home. Music is important to me because it can get you pumped for the day, calm you down in times of distress, cheer you up, or just express what you can't seem to in words.

Today I'm going to be raving about one of my favorite bands, who I didn't know they were my favorite band until recently, The Strokes. I absolutely love them and their style of music. I found out their music makes me extremely happy and makes my mood from terrible to ecstatic and ready to conquer the day. They really help me put a gloomy ugly day to a cheerful one.

Here are some of my favorite songs by them:

This last song "Undercover of Darkness" has a special meaning to me because this is what got me through emotionally when my grandpa died. I had found out at school and thankfully Ben was with me because I kinda was in shock and then broke down completely. It was a huge shock. I had this song on repeat the whole day. Even today I have a hard time listening to it because it reminds me so much of my grandpa. Because of the upbeat beat I imagine him walking into the light and be sprinting behind him saying "Don't go that way" and him saying "I'll wait for you" like in the lyrics. I didn't know him that well but I know for a fact we would have gotten along so well. Distance sucks. 

That's all for today's Musical Monday. Thanks for sticking around and listening to my little story. I hope you all have a nice day of summer. 

-Natalie   x

Mysterious Mondays

So as it seems, I have a lot of time on my hands. And that means I should do something productive like at least blog once a week. I'm going to call this segment Mysterious Mondays because I really don't know what I will write about I'm just gonna write. I'm also thinking about renaming my other blog. My top name so far is "Pixie Ate My French Fries" or something a long those lines. But I don't know what exactly I'm going to write about. College life? Love life? haha not that one. Or should I just start making YouTube videos and promote them there? Decisions Decisions.  Oh! and I remade the style of my blog. Like it? I doooo. Well that's all for now folks. See you tomorrow!

 

PS: IT IS FLIPPING HOT

-Natalie x

Monday Quotes 7/7/14

“Fantasy is hardly an escape from reality. It's a way of understanding it” - Lloyd Alexander.

This quote really impacts me because there was a time in my life where books were and still are a huge part of my life. Books taught me how to love, how to respect, how to find the real me under all the armor put up to defend myself from the world. Falling in deep (deeeeeeeeeeeeeeep) love with characters kept me sane when I thought I was going insane. In a book there is knowlege passed on from billions of years ago that is still alive today. Life lessons, consequences, reactions, and events that changed the world forever. Books allow people to experience many lives in one lifetime. Books are amazing. I think I say this too much. Not sorry.

“A man's mind is stretched by a new idea or sensation, and never shrinks back to its former dimensions” - Oliver Wendell Holmes.

When I read this, the first thought that popped into my head was "This should be posted in every teacher's classroom." The human brain is a wonderful organ that basically is what we call "us". Now I know people argue that we are more than our body parts and such but hey, I'm going to be a scientist so for now I go by the scientific point of view. The fact that when a person learns or has at least one new idea everyday is remarkable because those ideas will eventually build up and expand the way that person thinks forever. Like I said, the human brain is kinda awesome.

“It may be unfair, but what happens in a few days, sometimes even a single day, can change the course of a whole lifetime...” - Khaled.

This quote totally sounds like a movie plot. But I think that's why I enjoyed it. If you think about it, it's kinda true. And t fits every movie ever made. The first moive I thought of was "Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights." Why? Because it is my favorite movie ever. I have a soft spot for dancing movies. I literally start twitching on the couch because I want to get up and dance to the movie. What a noob huh. Anyways, for those who havn't seen it, the american girl movies to Cuba because of her father's work. She meets a guy her age who is a fantastic Cuban dancer and asks him to join andancing competition with her. Yada yada yada they fall in love and what not. Point is, a few days in Cuba and her life is magically changed by this guy in the span of a few days. This was the nice lovey dovey upbeat version of the quote. Of course you can also think of "Lone Survivor" which is a more realistic way to think of the meaning of the quote. Oh how I hate army movies. Gives me chills.

“When it was dark, you always carried the sun in your hand for me” - Sean O'Casey.

This totally reminded me of "Twilight" (Please don't eat me. I actually liked it for some time >.<) Jacob was the sun for Bella when Edward left. On a personal level, that was what Ben was for me. My life was drab and gray and boring before I met Ben. I did everything I was told, I got good grades, I did what I knew my parents wanted me to do even if they didn't say so, I was the number one good girl who had no fun and didn't really know what making my own decitions was. I was sad. I was bored with my life. I was stuck. And then comes Ben with his huge smile and bad bratt attitude. He made me really laugh for the first time is months. He was my sun.

-Natalie 

HELP! A Greedy Ass Raccoon is Taking Over My Life!

My life has been taken over. By this these people. 

 Since this summer has been semi filled with stay home days I have undusted my Nintendo DS and started to relive my childhood. You know, after I charged it. Leave it to me leave my DS uncharged.

After (finally) searching all the cheats and ways to quickly obtain money in Animal Crossing (which is basically the point) I learned lots of new little secrets I didn't know about. Like if you bury a shovel, the next day it becomes a golden shovel which if you plant money with it YOU GROW MONEY. What the hell man! I could have already payed off my mortgage if I knew about this!!! Stupid raccoon, y u charge so much. Grrr Catching fish and insects only do so much man! This game takes dedication. I wish I could pay New Leaf but I'm in the "Doesn't have a 3DS corner" so mourn for me.

 Honestly my favorite part is dressing up my character. All the little clothes and are so cute! Thankfully I got a nice face in the beginning of the game or is literally start the whole game over. My face would probably annoy me to the point of madness. Little OCD of you couldn't tell. 

Anyways here are some pictures of my now discharged life from school (or prison since there are QUITE a bit of relations in them both)

 

Help a raccoon is controlling my life,

-Natalie