My Not So Great Weekend

So I'm not the type of person to rant on the internet so since I had a not so awesome weekend I'm deciding to look on the optimistic side of it and write about that. When life throws you curve balls, throw them back and hit the pitcher in the face with it.

This weekend I went to spend it with my sister's Nina and Nino in a small town Deleno. Now since this town isn't that famous nor very known by people here are some fun facts for you:

1. Deleno was founded on July 14, 1869 as a railroad town
2. It is one of the top 5 polluted towns in Southern California
3. It is in the mitts of grape fields and cow farms( aka the middle of no where)
4. The average temperature: 77.7 degrees
5. North Kern State Prison is located there which holds the worst prisoners in Southern California 

Let me enfensize that this town is in the middle of nowhere. Land and grapes and land and cows is all you see there. Plus there is a weird yuck smell to the air there. Its so dense that the water smells like it too. Whoop.
But my favorite part is driving throw Gorman Mountain. To get up to north California my family has to drive through this mountain which takes about an hour long. But through this mountain there is this lake called Pyramid Lake which is absolutely beautiful. I'd love to camp there and just spend a wonderful weekend there. I have this tradition that when I drive through Gorman I have to listen to this song called "Sunny Came Home." Listen to it. It is magic put on bread by unicorns and friendship.

As I stayed in the home of my sister's grandparents, I was basically bullied by her Nina. And this happens all the time but this time I just felt it a little worse. I think it's because I actually notice small details that make a big difference like how sentences are ended with a bit of attitude or how a look can say a thousand words. So that was already a downfall for me. I spent on the floor that night which was amazing for me because one thing that bugs me to the max is sleeping on unusual beds. I mean I'll sleep on people's bed whole I like and know have the same sleeping habits as me or smell really good but this was none of these situations. So the floor was the best option for me. But then the light went out in the whole city which was a downfall for me for I was talking to Ben which was the only  thing keeping me calm. Plan B was listening to classical music and sleeping. That worked.

The next day I ate Menudo which is in the short term, cow stomach. Ew. I have never liked with because of the sole fact that I can not chew it. Nope not eating that. After we got ready we drove almost an hour to Tulare Country where an outdoor mall was. I didn't mind the long drive but this time I did. Because my internal self got the better of me. I started thinking of all the twisted and messed up things my family has done and has happened along with the death of my grandparents and just everything that's been happening in my life. I got into a depressive state I haven't visited in a really long time. This emotional wave got the better of me and well I'm still recovering from it now. And this stated with the thought of "Wow were 30 minutes away from my cousin's house." Not my best moment. This state wasn't helped when I found at least 5 different guys staring at me like I was food. Here's the thing about me: I hate stares. Guys, girls, parents, anyone; I don't like attention. This is really weird because when I'm dancing that all goes away and I want it all but if I'm not on stage, you look I bite. Since Ben wasn't there nor my dad I had no bodyguard and was forced to hide in clothes racks and behind clothes. I am a chicken. Bock Bock.

When we headed "home" after, ashamedly eating Mc Donald's, I watched "Dance Academy" on Netflix because I don't like talking to peoples and I had wifi. Plus for me. After a couple of hours we headed home and I of course fell asleep like a baby for the whole 2 hour drive. As I got home my bed felt like feathers and my pillow like silk as I drifted off to Natalieland with all the pikachus and french fries in the world.

And that was my horrific weekend. Never again. Nope. I will boycott the crap out of my parents and basically chain myself to my bed until I am able to stay home. No bullying. No emotional flashes like in the dark past. No sleeping on the floor. No stinky water. Just home sweet home.

-Natt

Bus Thoughts

It so particular how society works. How high schools society works. Today I am attending a field trip with my library science class, which consists of me and about 2-3 more girls, and an Art 1 class to the MOCA museum in Los Angeles and the public library. Now of course I may exaggerate and seem completely full of myself, but being in high level classes all my life, I don't normally associate with the type of people in these classes. So I find them very annoying and almost intolerable to bare but here I am. I wonder why I allowed myself to come to such a experience but then I remember: I need to try new things and be in new environments. Currently I am surrounded by people I do not know at all. Not one of my friends or even people that I recognize. And this frightens me. A lot. But I need to learn how to deal with situations like this so why not start now? College is going to be a similar experience so might as well get used to it. I just hope my anxiety doesn't kick in. That would be awful.

I feel like a total outsider because technically in there eyes I am. I don't fit into there society. I know this may sound like a ton of bogus but it's true. Me, being a band geek and in none of there classes, makes me an outsider to them as well as me to them. There is a reason why band geeks stick together. All my friends are mostly people in band, with the exception of Luis and such. High school is lovely don't you think? Full of social classes and dirty looks. Haha I just realize I have a good friend who's a cheerleader. Ironic huh. Kinda reminds me of life don't ya think? I realize that I probably sound really pessimistic right now but isn't that what growing up is? Recognizing that the world isn't all safe and perfect as what it looked like as a child. So for those, and if anyone actually reads this, here are the experience of not only an ordinary girl but an outsider too. I suppose it has it's benefits but also it's detriments as well. I know this is totally unrelated but as I write this on the bus heading to the museum (or library I'm not quite sure st this point) there is this stupid girl singing at the top of her lungs so out of tune that I want to scratch her throat out. Maybe it's just the band instincts. Or maybe just because I want to. Or both. Yeah probably both. So time to plug in the ear buds and ignore the world. Music is life. Music is love. Music is everything. 

LA is so beautiful. People see it as a city full of crime and ugly buildings but I see it as opportunity and beauty. Those old cracked buildings? They were once beautiful and now hold history. Those people? Just trying to make a living. I mean to those who haven't walked down the streets of LA, it is an experience you need to try. I gaze up at the buildings. I think of how many people are in the building with so many different lives. I try to imagine how there life would be. If that man has daughters or sons. Where her went to high school. What's his favorite holiday? Is her mother still alive? It's an endless list of possibilities. (I wonder where my dad is. He works in LA as a truck driver so I wonder if I'll see him) this bus ride is taking forever. And the girl is still singing. Crap. 

Library side entrance

So after entering the library, which was filled with homeless people, and after I got a speech from a hobo stating that his name was Gregory from Alaska and he is going to take office after Obama in 2017 where he will eliminate money because that is violating our got given right of equality stated in the constitution, we took a tour where the guide took us to a specific place where teens and only teens can go, so men like Gregory can not enter, and we can basically do whatever we'd like. Free wifi and unlimited supplies of books. Sweet. After that we walked to the MOCA museum and got into groups where two tour guides took us to talk about the art that was displayed. One of my guides was named Jorge and spoke with a Mexican accent. He was completely adorable! He had so many ideas and inspirations that he wanted to share. I had a very good experience at the museum and would gladly go back to visit. The art is amazing and abstract. 

Yeah that'me me on the side. Woops

I completely love this

So over all I had a good time. At first it was completely horrible but being alone and in a new environment wasn't that bad as i thought. But still nerve raking. I discovered new perspective of thinking and observed more of what was around me. So I kind of learned street skills, in the most basic explanation I can give. Hooray for new experiences. Hopefully then next isn't so unplesent at first.
-Natalie ☾

New song that has been on my mind for a while :)